guy:

getting home from school
  • me in class: wait what happened
  • me in class: what do we do
  • me in class: what do we write
  • me in class: when's the test
  • me in class: what is this
  • me in class: how do you do this
  • me in class: what

how to kiss

kinkydonuts:


[step 1]
open your mouth as wide as possible. make sure to stick out your tongue as far as you can, too, since kisses are like, 90% that thing

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[step 2] find someone to kiss. you will know they want to kiss because their tongue will also be extended at full length

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[step 3] move in for the kill

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(Source: conversationparade)


jonesdavid813:

cyanblur:

cyanblur:

what do you call this color gradient?

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black to the fuchsia

oh my god


ilovesmoothjazz1998:

Name: Bitch
Gender: Bitch
Race: Bitch
Age: Bitch
Height: Bitch
Weight: Bitch
Reason for applying: I’m a bitch


sexuallyfrustratedjellybabies:

sexuallyfrustratedjellybabies:

so my dog was reunited with his parents today

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and his dad has provided me with the best reaction picture eVER

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you think this is a game, son?

this post is 16 notes away from 70k what the fuck


nishlo:

but the real question is has nemo found himself


tupacvevo:

tupacvevo:

someone give me a job

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i was thinking something in retail


thebeautyofmoonlight:

spookynyan:

consultingpsychopaths:

that’s the spirit

OH MY FUCKING GOD DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST FUCKING SAID? DO YOU REALIZE HOW AMAZING THAT PUN WAS? THATS THE SPIRIT???!?!?! THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT YOU DICKSUCKING FUCKBUCKET THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT. THAT IS ALCOHOL. NAY, NOT SIMPLY ALCOHOL. IT IS A SPIRIT. YOU ARE LITERALLY LOOKING AT THE BOTTLE OF BOOZE HE IS DRINKING, AND YOU ARE POINTING OUT THATS THE SPIRIT WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY APPLAUDING HIM FOR DRINKING DURING GRADUATION BY SAYING THATS THE SPIRIT. YOU MY GOOD SIR HAVE SUCCEEDED TODAY. YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED IN MAKING ME PHYSICALLY BOW TOWARDS YOUR GREATNESS.THATS THE SPIRIT.THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT. 

That is the best reaction to a pun I have ever seen

axelvalentine:

Whenever I try to impress someone:

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zackisontumblr:

i bet rhinos cant talk because they would make too many jokes about being horny